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The BerryEnvy Experience…

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1. We spoke about Plain English writing in class. Please answer the following in detail:

a. How would you explain to someone what “Plain English writing” is? (4 Marks)

Writing in plain english means that you are communicating a message / idea in a way that is direct, clear, and easy on the audience to read the first time. Plain english writing is not overcomplicated, it does not use long, drawn out sentences or complicated phrasing to sound smart. Instead, the writer focuses on delivering their message in an easy, clear way.

A key point we talked about in class was that as a writer, you should ask yourself what the reader knows and what they actually need to know. If the audience already understands something, repeating it in your message just adds unnecessary words and bores the reader. In class, we used Saleem’s website about bringing the golf community together as an example for this: Visitors to his site already know what golf is, so explaining anything about the game would be pointless. What the audience here needs to know is how can they make friends to play golf with?. Therefore, the content should only focus on giving them an answer to that.

Additionally, plain english writing focuses on removing anything that is not necessary. When writing in this style you need to ask yourself; “ what is not needed here?”. By removing extra “fluff words” the message will be more clear.  In a class lecture, it was mentioned that when you worked at an agency writing content, the boss would make you cut the content in half before even looking at it, which really emphasized this point for me. 

When I think of this writing style, I immediately think of buzz feed articles on snapchat. They feel fun and quick to read, they don’t use any  overly complex phrasing or words, and there doesn’t seem to be any boring parts because it only includes what readers want to know with no rambling or fluff words.

b.What makes plain English writing different? (4 Marks)

Prioritizes Clarity – The main difference between traditional and plain english writing is that it prioritizes clarity, understanding, and reader focus over complexity. Rather than trying to sound academic or impressive, plain english writing just wants the reader to understand the content’s message and easily, enjoyably  read through it.

It makes the reader feel good –

Rather than using long, overly complicated phrases or big words, plain writing english uses everyday, simple phrasing and short sentences. This ensures that the reader will enjoy reading your content rather than dread it. Writing in a style that feels easy to read also makes the reader feel empowered rather than self conscious for struggling to understand

Conciseness– another difference in plain english writing is that it focuses on conciseness. Writers of this style remove any unnecessary information from the piece and leave readers with only what they need or want to know. This helps keep them focused and gives them a better experience.

Lower comprehension level  – In class, we discussed how content in marketing should be designed for the audience’s understanding rather than the writer’s vocabulary/ego. An example was that award winning shows like The Office (loved by many adults) are written at about a seventh or 8th grade comprehension level. The talking isn’t too fast, there aren’t any complex words, they use simple, everyday dialogue. This allows a wider audience to easily follow and enjoy the show. Meanwhile, other shows are not as successful because they are “too smart”. By using fast dialogue and words that some adults don’t understand, much of their audience will stop watching because the show makes them question their intelligence or grow tired of trying to keep up with it.  

c.What is plain language writing for the web and in detail and in your own words, why is it important?

(4 Marks)

Plain language writing for the web means that you are creating online content that is clear, simple, concise, and enjoyable for readers because they can scan and understand it quickly.

People read online content much differently than they read traditionally. Typically, when someone picks up an actual book,magazine, brochure, ect… they have a much stronger desire and intent to read that specific content either because they bought it or they are seeking information. However, when someone reads a piece of content online, they are less focused and will only continue reading if the content is easy and fun to scan because they scroll through hundreds of content pieces a day. In fact, viewers of online content don’t actually read every word, they just scan for key information. Because of this, web content has to be written in a clear, organized way (the F pattern) so that readers can best comprehend the story or message.

Plain language written for web is made to help viewers “find what they need, understand what is being offered, and how to take action based on that information” – (Briscoe – Effective Web Content in Plain Language Slide 13)

If proper techniques for plain english writing are not used (organizing content in an F pattern, using concise sentences, using simple vocabulary, ect…), then users may get frustrated or confused because they didn’t understand the message fast enough. 

In class, it was also mentioned that approximately 40% of Canadian Adults have literacy challenges, which means that writing with complex vocabulary or adding unnecessary information can harm the general readability of your web content. This quote was also shared in class…

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

This means that just because a piece of content is written and the writer understands it does not mean that the audience, which is who actually matters, will. Plain language writing ensures that your writing will be communicated effectively to the maximum amount of your audience.

2. In a previous assignment, you wrote an introduction article in the “F” pattern. Based on what we discussed in class and based on the feedback provided in class, write a new introductory “content” incorporating “plain English writing for the web” in the “F” pattern including visuals. You are to include your “revised version” (if the version you submitted was not in the F-Pattern). Ensure that it addresses the three main objectives of plain English writing. As a reminder, this is an introductory post for your business. Ensure you list it in your hardcopy. (12 Marks)

ORIGINAL CONTENT INTRO …

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Custom, Theme-Matched Chocolate-Covered Strawberries In Windsor/Essex 

For Events & Thoughtful Gifting

Welcome to BerryEnvy, your go-to for indulgent, custom chocolate strawberry boxes and statement event towers. Hand-dipped right here in Windsor Essex county, our extravagant treats are made to impress..

The Problem…

Wedding, engagement, baby shower, or birthday coming up? Event planning comes with enough stress as it is, and we’re here to deliver a one-of-a-kind, picture-perfect display that you can count on. No generic, boring dessert trays. No DIY stress. Just a professionally made arrangement designed to impress your guests.

Gift buyers can face a similar challenge: with full schedules and last minute occasions, giving a gift that feels thoughtful and elevated rather than rushed can feel like one more task on your list. You need something that feels intentional, but doesn’t require extra time or stress.

What We Create…

BerryEnvy offers hand-dipped, made- to order chocolate strawberry boxes and event towers that are fully customized any way you like including lettering, colours, intricate details and more. Each display is carefully arranged and styled with a strong focus on aesthetics and presentation.

Just tell us your vibe, we’ve got the rest covered!

What Makes Us Different…

• Stress- free customization process
• Unique designs rather than one-size-fits-all
• Handmade and created locally
• Clear, quick communication

Local, Simple, Reliable…

Whether you’re designing an edible centrepiece that makes a statement or sending a heartfelt gift, your order can be ready for pickup in as little as two days right here in Windsor, or delivered locally for an even more convenient experience.

Ready to Create Yours?

Submit your desired date + product type + theme below.

We’ll confirm availability within 24 hours.

Prefer Instagram?

DM @berryenvy

UPDATED VERSION…..

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Berry Envy – Custom Chocolate Covered Strawberries in Windsor Essex

A Simple Way to Elevate Any Gift Or Event

Planning a shower, birthday, or special event?

Need a last minute gift that still feels thoughtful?

Berry Envy creates custom chocolate covered strawberry boxes and event towers with special messages and themes that are sure to impress.

What We Offer

• Pre-designed event towers and boxes
• You can customize colours, messaging, and details to fit your vibe
• Picture-perfect presentation
• Handmade right here in Windsor Ontario

We Make It Simple

Event planning is overwhelming enough.

You don’t need to stress about the dessert table too.

No generic trays, No last minute scrambling.

We provide unique, ready-to-go displays that match your theme and add a “wow-factor” to your event.

Designed To Impress

Whether it’s a special gift or a centrepiece for your event, Berry Envy arrangements are designed to stand out. Just tell us your theme, and we’ll take care of the rest!

Fast & Simple Ordering

• Ready in as little as 2 days
• Local delivery and pickup available

Ready to Order?

Just submit your…

• Date
• Theme / Message
• Product type ( box or tower )

We’ll confirm in 24 hours or less!

Or DM us on Instagram: @berryenvy

3. For question #2, explain how your new post successfully addresses the three main objectives of Plain

English writing as discussed in class. Provide a detailed breakdown of each objective. (9 Marks)

Objective 1 – help users find what they need…

The updated business introduction post makes it easy for users to find what they are seeking by using clear, simple headings and concise paragraphs underneath them written with  everyday vocabulary. For example, subtitles like “What We Offer”. “Fast and Simple Ordering”, “We Make It Simple” all make it easy for viewers to scan the page and quickly locate important information. 

The post also follows the F Pattern structure that was discussed in class by strategically placing the most important information on the top and left side of the page, for example, i moved the “what we offer section to the top right after the introductory sentences so that users can immediately identify wether or not the business has what they are looking for. Each heading is also placed on the left hand side throughout the piece so that when  a viewer naturally scans down the side of the page, they can see what each paragraph is about without reading everything.

Because of this layout, users now do not need to read the entire introduction to get a general understanding of the content. Instead, they can just scan over the page to locate the information they are seeking. This dramatically improves readability and ensures that the maximum number of  website visitors are able to easily get their questions answered.

Objective 2 Help Users understand what is being offered…

The updated post helps users understand what the Berry Envy website is offering by using simple, everyday language so that a wide range of the audience is able to easily comprehend the content. For example, in the original post, I used phrases such as “extravagant treats” and “indulgent” which was replaced with simpler phrases like “custom chocolate covered strawberries”. This makes the post more direct and easy to understand.

Some sentences were also shortened because they were a bit wordy and long, for example…

 “Wedding, engagement, baby shower, or birthday coming up? Event planning comes with enough stress as it is, and we’re here to deliver a one-of-a-kind, picture-perfect display that you can count on. No generic, boring dessert trays. No DIY stress. Just a professionally made arrangement designed to impress your guests.

Gift buyers can face a similar challenge: with full schedules and last minute occasions, giving a gift that feels thoughtful and elevated rather than rushed can feel like one more task on your list. You need something that feels intentional, but doesn’t require extra time or stress.”

Was replaced with…

 “Event planning is overwhelming enough.

You don’t need to stress about the dessert table too.

No generic trays, No last minute scrambling.

We provide unique, ready-to-go displays that match your theme and add a “wow-factor” to your event.

Both of these paragraphs give users the same information (identifying the problem,  offering a solution, communicating that the event towers are convenient but look elaborate), but the updated version uses shorter sentences and removes complicated wording and unnecessary information. This makes the message more clear and easy to follow, improving readability and user experience.

Updates like these in the post reflect what was discussed in class about cutting out fluff words and using plain english writing to avoid confusion. By being direct and simple in communications on the website, it ensures that readers understand content the first time they see it.

Objective 3 Help users act on that info….

The updated post also shows users what they should do next with a strong, clear call to action in the last heading: the “Ready To Order?” section gives simple and direct instructions on what users should do once they are ready to inquire or place an order. It tells users exactly what information they need to submit to request a dessert order for their event date (Date, Theme/Message, and Product Type). 

I also changed this section to follow the F pattern more effectively. By changing “Submit your desired date + product type + theme below.” to a bullet point list along the left side, users are able to see this important info more easily because that’s how their eye naturally scans the page.

Another option to DM the business on instagram with the @ name clearly stated  is also included , giving users another easy way to inquire about ordering.  

a.Describe one specific technique you used to improve readability in your revised version and explain

why it is effective. (4 Marks)

One specific method i used to improve readability of the post was breaking content into more concise, short sections and using a list-style format in some areas rather than paragraphs. For example, in sections like “Ready to Order?” and “What we Offer” information is presented in this way to provide a more structured and easy to scan format.

This aligns with what was discussed in class about how online viewers do not actually read content word for word, they just scan to find key information. According the the F pattern, they tend to focus on the left side of the page and headings, so using a list format with clear, direct information, it allows readers to locate important details as effortlessly as possible.

This technique is effective because it feels less overwhelming to the reader and makes content much easier to process. By tightening up sections, removing any unnecessary info, and using a list style format in some areas, the audience can quickly understand the post and find what they need. Collectively, this improves readability and overall user experience.

b.What was the most challenging aspect of applying the F-Pattern and Plain English writing principles?

How did you overcome it? (5 Marks)

For me, the most challenging part of updating my post to match the F pattern and english writing more effectively was tightening up sections and removing unnecessary information because I didn’t want to remove too much and make the content lose its meaning or be too short. Initially I wanted to use extra, descriptive words like “extravagant” or “indulgent” because it felt more persuasive to me.

However, in class it was made clear that to be an effective writer, you don’t need to sound overly complex, its all about writing content your audience will find easy to read and understand. I had to shift my focus from trying to make the introductory post sound convincing/appealing with descriptive words to making sure that the communication was clear. This meant i had to constantly ask myself “what isnt needed in this section?” and “what does the user actually need to know?” and adjusting my writing to support these goals.

I overcame this challenge by rewriting sentences to be shorter, more direct, and simple to comprehend. I also took out unnecessary phrases and focused more on highlighting key information. This process helped me write a piece of content that is accessible to a wider audience, and aligns with the 3 main objectives of plain english writing (find what they need, understand what is being offered, and how to take action based on that information).

4. For question #2, what did you do differently from the original post? Please outline, explain and justify what you changed & why. Essentially, what did you learn from this new topic and what did you change and why.

(8 Marks)

In the updated version, i made many different changes to improve the overall readability and clarity of the post based on what we discussed in class and powerpoints about plain english writing and user tendancies online.

First, I simplified the language by taking out unnecessary, overly descriptive phrases such as “indulgent”, “professionally made”, and  “strong focus on aesthetics and presentation”. These types of words sounded appealing to me at first because i thought it would be more convincing, but they do not help the user understand the message clearer. They actually just add extra reading effort. The new version uses more familiar, direct language that can be understood immediately, which aligns with the idea of communicating your message effectively in the least amount of words possible.

Second, I took out unnecessary information and repetition by focusing on what the reader actually needs to know. In the first version, some parts repeated similar ideas or added extra, unessential details. Based on what we discussed in class, I took a new approach on the second version and asked myself “what is not needed here?” and removed anything that didn’t help communicate the main ideas I wanted the audience to know. This helped me create more concise content that is easier to read.

Third, I rearranged the post to follow the F pattern method better. I added clear headings that tell users what each section is about, I broke the content into smaller sections, I put the most important information at the top, and I used a list style format in some areas along the left side of the page.  This reflects how the audience will naturally scan the page and give them the most amount of information possible without them having to read every word.

Fourth, I improved readability by eliminating run-on sentences and using clear sections instead of long paragraphs. This makes it easier to scan and makes the piece look less daunting to read, lightening the cognitive load, which is important because users decide in seconds whether they want to stay on a page and if it looks like a lot of work to read, they are more likely to leave. 

Fifth, I shifted my focus less from selling the product and more to the users problems and needs. The updated version addresses issues like last-minute gifting and event stress more directly, which make the content more engaging and relevant to the reader. This aligns with the idea the content for the web should be written for the reader.

Finally, I added a more clear and structured call to action. Writing a more direct headline ( Ready To Order?), placing the information they need to provide in a clear list which shows users exactly how they can place an order, and offering an alternative option to message the brand on instagram supports the goal of “helping users act on the given information” – (Briscoe, Effective Web Content in Plain Language, Slide 13) by making the next steps obvious and clear (Briscoe, Effective 

Overall, this assignment showed me that writing good content for the web means that you focus on clarity over complexity. Rather than trying to sound impressive, you are meant to write for your audience’s understanding by simplifying the language, removing any unnecessary details, and structuring content in a clear, easy to scan way (F pattern) that is easy for users to navigate and act on.

 Using the article from Part A, Question #1, you are to create three (3) different headlines. Each headline must emphasize a different headline element discussed in class. (3X4=12 Marks) For each headline:

A – Include the Headline 

B –  Explain your reasoning 

C –  Reference specific class concepts 

Headline 1 (contrast/conflict) 

Police Reject Serial Killer Theory As New England Beach Town Locals Voice Concerns

 Explain your reasoning 

Rather than focusing primarily on the deaths themselves, this headline is centered around the strong conflict between locals in New England beach towns and their police force. People are naturally drawn to conflict involving others – especially when it affects public safety . Additionally, the word “serial killer” grabs attention, adds urgency, and intensifies the situation’s contrast.

Reference specific class concepts

This headline uses contrast and conflict framing writing tools that were discussed in class. When a headline presents two opposing frames or viewpoints, it effectively raises engagement because all readers are naturally drawn to unresolved conflict. 

Headline 2 (numbers) 

 4 Women Found Dead in New England Beach Towns as Serial Killer Fears Grow

Police Insist There is No Connection, But Locals Demand Answers.

B –  Explain your reasoning 

This headline utilizes numerical specificity. Using the phrase “4 Women Found Dead” makes the situation feel more concrete and helps readers quickly perceive the seriousness of the situation. Additionally, “Serial Killer fears grow” escalates the story and the subheadline highlights police vs. resident conflict to spark curiousity and encourage deeper reading.

C –  Reference specific class concepts

This headline uses the numbers principle, which as we discussed in class is one of the 3 tools that great headlines use. Using numbers in a headline increases memorability, engagement and effectively disrupts scrolling patterns. By combining this writing strategy with emotional escalation in the second part of the headline, it successfully creates captivation and tension.

Headline 3 (ask and discover intent) 

Why Are Women Turning up Dead in these New England Beach Towns?

Uncover what police are saying – and why locals don’t believe them. 

B –  Explain your reasoning 

I wanted to use a question based format in this version of the headline because it directly engages the audience by encouraging them to find an answer to the question presented. The subheadline reinforces this by using the word “uncover” and highlighting the story’s conflict. The subheadline also encourages discovery.

C –  Reference specific class concepts

In class, we learned that to write an effective headline, you should use at least one of the following; Do, discover, connect, or ask. This means through your writing, tell your audience to do something, Invite your audience to discover something, connect with your audience by speaking to them directly (ex. Using the word YOU), or ask them a question. In this headline, I used ask and discover to grab reader’s attention and then hook them in. To emphasize ask intent, the headline immediately asks “Why Are Women Turning Up Dead in These New England Beach Towns?, this prompts the reader to find answers to the question by reading more. It uses discover intent in the subheading using words like “uncover” and inviting them to learn more about a real small town conspiracy.

82. Headline Intent vs Outcome (4 Marks) Choose one headline you created in Part B, Q#1 Part B and answer the following: 

Why Are Women Turning up Dead in these New England Beach Towns?

Uncover what police are saying – and why locals don’t believe them.

a) What is the primary intent of this headline? (e.g. curiosity, urgency, clarity, relevance, emotional pull) 

The primary intent of the headline is to create curiosity and emotional pull. Right off the bat it uses the graphic word “Dead” to trigger shock/disgust emotions. It also speaks to the reader directly by asking them a question which subconsciously engages them and challenges them to find an explanation. It gives specific details to draw people in, but leaves enough out to create an unresolved story. Curiosity is also created in the subheading through the contrast between community fear and police denial; it makes the reader question “are the police lying?” “Why are locals suspicious?”. 

 b)What action or response is the headline designed to trigger?  

This headline is meant to trigger clicks and further reading. The question, specificity, and graphic wording and in the main headline encourages readers to find the answer through the article that follows. The subheading supports this by using the word “uncover”, inviting the reader to investigate further and draw their own conclusions about this mystery.

c)Explain why this intent is appropriate for the target audience you selected. 

The audience here is in the digital news space and has a particular interest in true crime reporting. For this group, the intention of emotional pull and curiosity are effective because they are already scrolling through lots of similar content and are more used to explicit or gruesome wording than the average reader, so using very shocking and emotional wording helps to disrupt their scrolling and hook them in.

The question based format in the main headline aligns with this audience because they are naturally curious, like to learn about true crime cases and create their own conspiracies based on facts. Rather than just presenting information, this headline invites readers to mentally engage and come up with their own concussion based on given information.

3. SCC Advertising Program Headline (6 marks) Create one headline for an article about the SCC Advertising Program, targeted to local graduating high school students. You must provide: 

A) The headline 

Why Creative Students are Choosing the 3-Year SCC Advertising Program

Explore 7 Career Paths That Combine Creativity and Business

B) An explanation of the information missing from the instructions 

Based on course concepts, this is what’s missing from the instructions…

Is the article Digital?

This is an important detail because digital is different; users are much more distracted with other content and they are scanning rather than reading, which means your headline has to disrupt scanning, be captivating and act as an immediate decision trigger. In this case, I’m going to assume that the article is digital because of the audience’s age.

–What do they already know? 

Graduating highschoolers in the area already know that st. clair college exists. However, they probably haven’t looked into what this specific program includes and associate it with one or two things exclusively like writing copy in ads or creating social media posts. By getting them to read the article about this program with a gripping headline, they would learn about its many different components such as media planning, digital strategy, email marketing, graphic design ect…

-What do they need to know?

This audience needs to know that the SCC advertising program creates real career opportunities for its graduates. They also need to know what types of jobs can be obtained, how this program differs from a general marketing degree, what skills they could build on or learn. Since this audience is feeling pressure to decide what is right for them moving forward to college/uni, they need to feel reassured that this program can translate their creativity to financial stability in a job they enjoy.

– What is the primary intent of the headline? Do we want the students to inquire? Enroll? Donate? 

We want students to click on the headline, read more about the program through the article, and learn more about it.

-Who is the competition?

 In this case, I believe that the competition is University of Windsor, which offers similar programs like business and marketing.

–What are the Program Strengths ( reasons students would want to enroll )?

 It’s only 3 years

 It can lead to a solid, high paying career

 It appeals to creative people who want stability

 There are many different career paths you can go with based on personal  interest/skills

– What is the headline’s specific promise?

 Based on the target audience, I believe that the specific promise of this headline is meant to be “if you enroll in this program, you can use your creativity to build a real career in just 3 years)

C) a detailed justification for your headline choice based on course concepts 

Because this headline is targeted at local graduating high school students, I’m assuming that the article is going to tell them information about the program, what careers it can lead to, and why it could be right for them. Based on this assumption I created a headline that will grab attention quickly using clarity, numbers where possible, and a two part structure. As discussed in class, these are the top 3 things that all great headlines have in common. It also invites the audience to discover what careers are possible after this program (from do, discover, connect, or ask) which aligns with the primary goal of them learning more about the program

Clarity – the headline clearly identifies the audience (creative students), the program (SCC advertising) and the benefit of reading the article (discover more about the program and learn about 7 future career paths that could interest them as a creative). And the main benefit of the program (3-year length, appeals to creatives, leads to a real career)

Numbers – we learned that it’s important to use numbers where you can in headlines because it increases memorability and engagement. In this headline uses this tip in the phrase “3-Year Program” and “ explore 7 career paths”

2 Part Structure – Successful headlines also use a 2 part structure (headline and subhead) where the headline immediately catches their attention (the hook) and the subheadline reels them in with more info, and this is exactly what i did here.

4. Second-Year Course Headline (4 marks) Create one headline promoting second-year digital courses in this program, targeted to first-year students. You must provide: 

a) Provide the headline 

7 Digital Skills You’ll Master in Second Year

Ready to Turn Your Ideas Into Industry Level Work?

b) Explain your reasoning clearly using class content

Based on the information given, I wrote the headline assuming that its main purpose is to encourage first year students to stick with the program by getting them excited about what skills they’re going to learn in second year digital courses and remind them that the program is going to prepare them for a real job in industry.

For this headline I used 4 concepts learned in class/from powerpoints…

Clarity – From reading this headline, the audience (first years in this program) knows that the article is going to tell them about different digital skills they will learn in second year. I also avoided using fluff words and only wrote in effective phrasing.

Connect and Ask from ( from do, discover, connect, or ask) – the headline addresses the audience by directly speaking to them; “skills YOU’LL master”, “YOUR ideas”. It asks them a question in the subheading: “Ready to Turn Your Ideas Into Industry Level Work?” 

Uses 2 Parts –  Successful headlines use a 2 part structure (headline and subhead) where the headline immediately catches their attention (the hook) and the subheadline reels them in with more info, and this is exactly what I did here.

Used Numbers – “7 Digital Skills” adds a level of credibility to the headline – it promises the audience a concrete number of skills they can expect to gain in second year. We also learned that using numbers makes a headline more memorable.

1. Headline Resonance (6 marks) Find one (1) headline you recently encountered that you felt was effective.

a) Provide the exact headline 

Dead Women Are Turning Up in New England Beach Towns. Police Deny a Pattern, But Locals Fear a Serial Killer

https://people.com/dead-women-turning-up-new-england-beach-towns-police-deny-pattern-locals-fear-serial-killer-11716607

b) Explain why it resonated with you

The first part of this headline caught my eye because I consume a lot of true crime content so it felt familiar, and by the time I got to the end I felt like I needed to read the article to find out what’s happening. The opening phrase “dead women are turning up” is immediately gruesome and shocking, while “New England Beach Towns” adds a level of specificity and interest. In the next part “ Police Deny a Pattern, But Locals Fear a Serial Killer” the is strong contrast between the first and second half; the police denying a pattern while people in the town think that there’s a serial killer on the loose heightens emotional attachment and leaves me asking “why aren’t the cops doing anything?” and wanting not only to learn about the deaths but also to read about how community and authority perceptions could be so different.

c) Tie your explanation directly to specific headline elements discussed in class 

This headline is effective because it uses several different concepts we discussed…

Curiosity Gap – This headline is specific enough for the audience to take interest in the story, but also leaves them with unresolved tension that they feel the need to settle. Instead of saying something vague like “police find dead bodies on a beach” they specify that they are women and the exact area they were found which makes the story feel more real and shocking. The second part also contributes to the curiosity gap because it makes the audience wonder why the police aren’t believing the community.

Contrast and conflict – this headline effectively uses contrast phrasing with two opposing frames; “Police Deny a Pattern” and “Locals Fear a Serial Killer”, which intensifies shock value and creates another level of curiosity. By adding this second part, the headline not only leaves people asking “who did it” but also “why aren’t the cops believing the community?”. It also creates a sense of conflict between locals and police, which may spark extra emotion in some people

Discover Intent – This headline successfully invites people to read the attached article by presenting a specific, disturbing situation with no clear resolution and then a strong conflict between a scared community and its police force. It encourages readers to read more, resolve their questions, and possibly come up with their own theories.

2. Accuracy & Representation (4 marks) Was the headline in Question #1 An accurate representation of the article content? 

a) Explain your reasoning clearly 

Yes, I believe that this headline is an accurate representation of the article’s content. The article is about a close community of beach towns in New England where there have been 4 women found murdered within just a few months. The article also highlights the fact that people who live in the area suspect a serial killer because of the close proximity of the bodies found and the short time frame, and the local police denying that there is a connection between the cases despite a pattern.

Importantly, the headline does not insinuate or state anything that is not a fact. It doesn’t imply that there is a serial killer in that area, it only states what’s going on (4 women found dead), what the community suspects, and how local police are handling the situation.The contract and emotional pull of this headline feels aligned with the seriousness of the situation rather than exploitative or overly dramatic.

b) Reference course discussion on misleading vs effective headlines 

In class we talked about the difference between a misleading headline and an effective one. Although it might seem tempting to overdramatize your headline to shock the viewer and get them to read further, if the article itself is inconsistent with what the headline states, the reader will feel tricked, annoyed and become less likely to engage with content from that source.

However, an effective headline uses writing techniques to pull strong emotions and tension while staying consistent with what’s actually in the article. The headline for theNew England beach town murders achieved this balance; while it highlights fear within a community, deaths, and police conflict to evoke emotions, the headline has an appropriate tone and is accurate with the story.

3. Click Motivation (8 marks) 

a)Provide a different headline you recently clicked on.

 Police Found Woman’s Remains in a Toolbox Thanks to a ‘Single Drop of Blood.’ Her Killer Was Living in the Same Home

b)Include the exact headline and a screenshot

c)Explain why you clicked it, not why you liked it

I clicked it because it’s shocking, has a strong curiosity gap, and catches attention quickly through concise wording and specificity.

I wanted to click this headline because within 3 seconds I was shocked and wanted to learn more about what happened. The phrase “woman found in the toolbox” was what caught my eye first because it’s highly specific and disturbing to picture. It presents a highly unusual situation that leaves me questioning “why did he do it?” “how did she fit in there?”, making me want to understand what happened. The mention of “A single drop of blood” also piqued my interest because it implies that a tiny, lucky detail led to the murder being solved, making the case feel rare and interesting.

The last part of the headline, “her killer was living in the same home” was the final phrase that drew me in adding a twist that made an already rare situation even more intense. Knowing that the killer was living in the same home as the victim left me with more questions; “who was it” “how did he fly under the radar?” and added a layer of betrayal to the story. My click was motivated by a need for resolution and details over personal interest or enjoyment.

d)Tie your reasoning directly to course concepts

According to many class discussions, viewers see thousands of pieces of content per day, so they don’t read – they scan. For an ad/article to pull a high CTR it must function as a “decision trigger”, and this headline strongly aligns with course concepts about how to write a good headline.

In class, the importance of cutting content was talked about a lot; when you write something you’re supposed to look at it and ask – what is not needed here? And to not write anything that your audience doesn’t need. The headline uses effective phrasing only and successfully grabs attention by using graphic words like “blood” “killer” and “remains” to disrupt scanning.
It also effectively uses a curiosity gap which was discussed in class; while it’s okay to “spoil” what’s in the article (because why are we hiding it) it’s also important to leave the viewer wanting or needing to know more. This headline is specific, shocking, and reveals enough information to draw the viewer in and give them an idea of what happened, but withholds full details to create a curiosity gap. For example,  rather than being vague and using a phrase like “woman’s body found” the headline uses the specific phrasing “woman found in toolbox” to highlight the story’s gruesome shock and uniqueness.